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25 February 2011 @ 03:42 pm
Hearing Lisa again  




I don't know if it's torturing myself or not to listen to her so familiar voice. And eerie, too. When she said at Wordstock that she had many more books she wanted to write - that was just a few months before her diagnosis. And what she said at the beginning of the Morris Award video is almost crazy to hear now.

I miss her so much.



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( 38 comments — Leave a comment )
Lisa Albertlisaalbert on February 26th, 2011 12:23 am (UTC)
{{April}} I'm so sorry. Some day, I'll hug you in person.
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 26th, 2011 01:06 am (UTC)
That would be nice!
Lisa Mullarkeylisamullarkey on February 26th, 2011 12:41 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry. Words fail me.
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 26th, 2011 01:05 am (UTC)
I'm not very articulate these days either.
artistqartistq on February 26th, 2011 12:46 am (UTC)
Lisa was a bright light!
I think it is reassuring to hear her voice. I read through her livejournal yesterday because I feel as though I have known her for so long.. since 2004. It was nice to read back and all that we have shared online.
One day I will meet you in person!!
{hugs}
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 26th, 2011 01:05 am (UTC)
Re: Lisa was a bright light!
You knew Lisa a year longer than me. Lucky you!
artistqartistq on February 26th, 2011 03:07 am (UTC)
Re: Lisa was a bright light!
only online. only through email, only through posts, only through our shared feeling that cancer knew our name.
i was happy to see that I told her more than once that I appreciated her, that I was happy for her triumphs and that I understood how she felt, I finished reading and missed her terribly but thankful that she was here, and that I was here with her.. at the same time.

ps. I think I met you through her, as well as literaticat (Jen) and I thank her for that!
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 26th, 2011 03:25 am (UTC)
Re: Lisa was a bright light!
She brought me probably half my LJ friends. Or more.
artistqartistq on February 26th, 2011 03:28 am (UTC)
Re: Lisa was a bright light!
well I am thankful for you April!
Sheela Charisheela_chari on February 26th, 2011 01:31 am (UTC)
I saw that Morris award video yesterday and it was very jarring.

I'm so sorry for you and all the Portland writers who got to have Lisa in your real, face-to-face life. It must be so hard...Lisa was one of the first voices I really listened to on LJ. I respected her so much and it brightened my day when she commented, which was often. I can't believe she's gone. I want to post about her, but I can't bring myself to yet. It's been very disturbing and sudden.

I went to her LJ today and copied over two icons to my LJ, because when I see them, they remind me so much of her, and I would like to have a little bit of her with me.

Hugs to you, April. I'm happy I know you here. {}
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 27th, 2011 02:23 am (UTC)
I was driving today, and I started thinking of how it wasn't that long ago she was next to me and how she never will be. It's still so unreal.
Kristi: winterdampscribbler on February 26th, 2011 03:53 am (UTC)
((hug)) I'm so sorry, April. I barely knew Lisa and I miss her, she was a wonderful person to be around. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm not ready to watch these videos, but I'll be back soon to see them. Thanks for sharing.
Kristi: winterdampscribbler on February 26th, 2011 03:56 am (UTC)
P.S.
When you're ready, we really must get together for tea (or coffee) and community.
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 26th, 2011 04:17 am (UTC)
Re: P.S.
I just got slammed with two books things - both minutes before I got the news about Lisa. I'm just buried - or I would be, if I could concentrate. But maybe later in the spring it will get better?
Kristi: winterdampscribbler on February 26th, 2011 04:20 am (UTC)
Re: P.S.
Busy is good. (Mostly.) Whenever you're ready.
Jeni Belljeniwrites on February 26th, 2011 11:40 am (UTC)
I can only imagine how painful it was for you to see the second video again, especially those first words. Her spirit really shines through in that video; so does her sense of humor (tattoos of the ALA members' names). I hope someday you're able to look at that video again and smile. For now, I continue to send many, many hugs your way.
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 26th, 2011 04:06 pm (UTC)
I do smile - but it's so bittersweet.
Jeannine Garseeonegrapeshy on February 26th, 2011 06:05 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry, April. I only knew her from e-mails, but she was a such a delight, so warm and funny. xx
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 26th, 2011 08:18 pm (UTC)
I'm glad that I only lived a few blocks away. I wanted to help her so much after her diagnosis, but the only things she really needed were time and to feel better, and no one could give her those.
latteyalatteya on February 26th, 2011 06:09 pm (UTC)
OMG, I just got back from Brazil and heard this. I'm so sorry. I only knew Lisa from LJ, but she was always so kind to me and I really hoped to meet her one day. Hugs.
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 26th, 2011 08:17 pm (UTC)
It was a fast and cruel cancer. She was not given a grace period.
Laura McCarthylalam on February 26th, 2011 06:19 pm (UTC)
Lisa's loss has definitely left a hole in the YA world. She was very special and I loved talking to her on Twitter. I will miss the stories that she won't be able to write, but I'll have the ones she has written.
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 26th, 2011 08:15 pm (UTC)
Every time I talked to her about a YA book she had already read it. Who will I talk to about books now? In person I can't think of anyone else.
Jama Rattiganjamarattigan on February 26th, 2011 06:33 pm (UTC)
Thanks for posting these, April. I found it reassuring to hear and see Lisa again.

Sending you ((hugs)) and comfort; I can't imagine how hard it must be for you and Lisa's other real-life friends and family. I'm so glad I got to know her online and meet her once in person.
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 26th, 2011 08:13 pm (UTC)
We all know that any more online friends are RL friends too.

What's hard is seeing her husband and son. They are the real RL folks. Everything in their house is a memory.
Courtney Sheinmelcourtneywrites on February 26th, 2011 07:50 pm (UTC)
I am so sorry for your loss.
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 26th, 2011 08:10 pm (UTC)
I haven't really grieved yet. I was just in my car and looking at the driver's seat and thinking about how I drove her home from the hospital.
Courtney Sheinmelcourtneywrites on February 27th, 2011 08:10 pm (UTC)
Oh, April. I barely knew Lisa and I've been thinking about her everyday. I can only imagine what you are going through.

A friend/mentor of mine died when I was 17. For years after I kept an old jacket in the back of my closet. I had been wearing it in a picture of the two of us, her arm draped across my shoulder. Since jackets don't get washed with regular laundry, it still had her touch on it.
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 27th, 2011 08:25 pm (UTC)
I understand totally. At least I am old enough to have more experience/more perspective. At 17, it would rock your world.
lizjonesbookslizjonesbooks on February 26th, 2011 09:02 pm (UTC)
Wow-- this is great! And yeah... kind of eerie.((((hugs)))) to you. I had an idea about a way to perhaps expand on Nathan's scholarship thing-- check my most recent blog entry. I'm sort of leaning towards being the organizer if no-one steps up, and if there's enough interest... hoping it's feasible.
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 26th, 2011 11:10 pm (UTC)
I could put you in touch with the person who ran the auction for Bridget Zinn. But I think it's a lot of work. Maybe right now concentrate on the scholarship fund?
Laura McCarthylalam on February 26th, 2011 11:25 pm (UTC)
I definitely would love to contribute to Nate's scholarship fund. It wouldn't be a lot, but I'd like to donate something.
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 27th, 2011 12:47 am (UTC)
I think all our 'not much's could add up to a lot.

The details are a few posts earlier in my blog if you need them.
lizjonesbookslizjonesbooks on February 27th, 2011 03:29 am (UTC)
Yeah-- the goal would be to raise money for the scholarship fund-- I can't organize anything like this now due to work schedule, so it would have to be summer. Just getting a feel for interest level and etc...
carriejonescarriejones on February 27th, 2011 12:13 am (UTC)
I couldn’t comment on this when I first saw it, April, and I’m sorry for that, but thank you so much for posting it. It’s important to see her humor and voice. Thank you. I am so sorry for your loss. Love to you.
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 27th, 2011 12:46 am (UTC)
I was talking to her husband about it this morning. He likes listening to the second video because it shows her sense of humor. He wasn't aware of the first one.

I know she really liked you - we talked about you often.
Troubleliteraticat on February 27th, 2011 05:55 am (UTC)
every time i think i have stopped crying, i see something else.
aprilhenryaprilhenry on February 27th, 2011 03:54 pm (UTC)
The weird thing is I haven't been able to cry. Every now and then my eyes get wet.
( 38 comments — Leave a comment )