aprilhenry (aprilhenry) wrote,

I might as well kill myself right now

I'm reading a woman's magazine last night - I'm a big magazine junkie, esp. in the winter, because they are so handy on the exercise bike - when I read this interview with Fergie. As in The Duchess. She says, "Did you know I'm going to have my own radio show? Maybe on Sirius. And my own TV show! And I've just signed a deal with St. Martins Press to write a historical novel - the next Gone with the Wind. I sold it without one chapter written! It's all in my head. My heroine is Lady Margaret, with red hair, and it takes place in the south of Ireland in 1759. I am Lady Margaret at the end of the day. It will be Pride and Prejudice meets 24!"


I want that deal. Esp. when you know someone else will write the book.

The funny thing was the article quoted her extensively, and unless I'm missing something, the interviewer hated her. She let Fergie hang herself by all these breathless, over-the-top annoying quotes bragging about herself, like saying her daughters "have to share me with the world's children through the work I do with my charities...." It's amazing how many times a person can use the words I, me, mine and my.

Other choice Fergie quotes and anecdotes:
"'I've been up since 5 a.m!'" she announces to anyone and everyone. "Luckily, I have an energy that is pretty young. I'm still wild and rebellious - and I'm 46! I guess I've always had a childlike heart."

"I live eight lives in one," she says briskly. "Most people can't keep up. I am busy every minute of the day. I'm always creating. I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone earlier and she said, 'Well, I should hang up so you can create another 40 things by 5 o'clock. I've simply got a very creative brain."

"I'm going to be a very big international lifestyle brand. I'm going to be the next Laura Ashley, with products priced for my people, real people, all the people who have been loyal to me and will enjoy my linen or china or whatever it ends up being. It will be worldwide, of course. We have to have dreams, don't we? I'm a major entrepreneur." What I like about her dreams are that they are so specific. Or whatever they end up being.

"The Duchess has also managed to raise two daughters as a divorced working mom." Hello, they're in boarding school! And being Fergie isn't exactly like being a waitress.

"My girls are really launching into society this year, and I wanted to do this with them, with Ladies Home Journal, because it's read by real people, my people, the people who've supported me for the last 12 years. It's good to remain steadfast to your core values. They know I'm devoted to primary education, to eradicating hunger and poverty, that that is my passion, and my job." Just think - I'M Fergie's people!

"Her trusted assistant has left the premises, off to the airport to go back to London and have, as Ferguson says, 'a life.' But the Duchess seems to have only belatedly registered the consequences of this act of magnanimity. 'Oh no,' she wonders aloud, 'I've got no assistant.' Where have I got to be? I wonder if the girls are being picked up and who's driving them? I live in this bizarre place and you can't do it alone without support.'"

On the way out, she kisses the crew and the interviewer.

The only thing I can think is that not only did the writer hate her, but also so did the editor. She comes off like the most shallow and self-absorbed woman ever.

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