aprilhenry (aprilhenry) wrote,

What do you pray for someone who's dead?

I went running today for the first time in several weeks, post-injury and post-surgery. Whenever I run, I send up little prayers. There's a few standing topics on my list: my mom, my writing, and the health of my friend and fellow writer Barbara Seranella. Only the last time I went running, Barbara was alive. And now she's not. It was like there was an empty space, like an empty socket my tongue kept probing.

Toward the end of her life, I didn't know what to pray for her, not really. Healing was starting to seem an impossibility, not after two liver transplants and a near-desperate search to find another surgeon who was willing to attempt a third. I tried to hard to picture her as whole and healthy, not as I had seen her last, yellow and wrinkled and gaunt. It had been a horrible shock, but after five minutes she was Barbara again.

I guess mourning is for ourselves. I think she dwindled into death, a soft passing for someone who lived life to the hilt. Not long before she died, she was happy to learn she had "earned out" on her last book - sold enough books to cover her advance and then some. For me, no Barbara means no one to seek advice from or to bounce ideas off of. Or no one who is her. I'm glad I was able to tell her one big piece of good news that is not quite at fruition yet.

Appreciate your life and the people in it today.

site stats

Subscribe with
Blog Reader
Tags: barbara
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.