aprilhenry (aprilhenry) wrote,

Things you should never say to parents of children with special needs

[My sister is doing a little guest blogging today. Her two children have been diagnosed with autism.]
By Melody S.
Edited by Thomas S.
With help from Tasha and Henry S.

1) "So are they going to live in a group home?"--This is the like asking a parent of a "normal" child "So are your kids going to be living in a prison?"

2) "Are they learning anything in school?" --This is like asking the parent of a "normal" child "So is your child stupid?"

3) "God know what he was doing when he gave you these children."--We call this the halo effect. It's meant to be supportive but it makes you think that either God has a strange sense of humor or hates you.

4) "What kind of future can they have?"--As if they aren't going to have a "good" future. What is the alternative-eugenics, euthanasia? Oh just shoot me now and get it over with.

5) "Why do my taxes pay for special ed classes? Is PT, OT and speech actually education?" We lost a friendship over this one. It's saying that my children are worthless.

6) "You have so much patience. God knew what he was doing."--This is usually said right about the time that your at the end of your rope and want to strangle the kid. Or when you've just blown up at your husband, or your wife, or the kid, or the teacher, or the bus driver, or the dog etc etc etc. See also answer to question #3.

If you've ever asked these question don't feel bad. We all have our off moments. Just remember when our answers aren't exactly what you were expecting don't be too suprised. We're just trying to get through the day with love, humor, perseverance, patience, kindness, and love.

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Tags: #3, melody
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