aprilhenry (aprilhenry) wrote,

An open letter to my neighbors

Dear folks who have the two big black dogs who throw themselves against the fence, barking and growling, anytime a person is within a block of them:

Your sign says "Sale Pending." It's been up for months. Are you just teasing us? Are you just teasing you dogs, who exist in a fenced yard no bigger than a child's bedroom? Will you still be here next winter, when you begin each day by starting your car and letting it loudly idle, the moter misfiring, for 20 to 30 minutes?

Dear kids who use Gabriel Park as a trysting place:

While I appreciate your commitment to keeping yourself and your partner safe, would you mind not discarding your used condoms in the gutter? There are garbage cans only a few steps further on.

Dear lady who likes to read the newspaper:

Our paper delivery guy said he saw you last Saturday walking up the street, reading our paper. He thought we might have asked someone to watch the house and pick up our paper while we were gone. Only we aren't gone and we have missed our paper. You took it three days in a row, before the paper guy started trying to throw it someplace you wouldn't notice.

Somehow I never thought someone who liked to read the paper would be the same kind of person who helped themselves to things from other folk's driveways.

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Tags: wouldn't you like to be my neighbor?
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