aprilhenry (aprilhenry) wrote,

It's that dark and stormy time of year again

It's that time of year again, the time when hundreds compete for $275 and a little fame for winning the Bulwer-Lytton award. The literary parody contest is named in honor of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton. Entrants submit bad opening sentences to imaginary novels. Bulwer-Lytton opened his novel Paul Clifford with the immortal words: "It was a dark and stormy night."

Winner: Detective
I'd been tailing this guy for over an hour while he tried every trick in the book to lose me: going down side streets, doubling back, suddenly veering into shop doorways, jumping out again, crossing the street, looking for somewhere to make the drop, and I was going to be there when he did it because his disguise as a postman didn't have me fooled for a minute.

Runner-Up: Detective
She'd been strangled with a rosary-not a run-of-the-mill rosary like you might get at a Catholic bookstore where Hail Marys are two for a quarter and indulgences are included on the back flap of the May issue of "Nuns and Roses" magazine, but a fancy heirloom rosary with pearls, rubies, and a solid gold cross, a rosary with attitude, the kind of rosary that said, "Get your Jehovah's Witness butt off my front porch."

Read all of the winners and more here.

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