aprilhenry (aprilhenry) wrote,

The junk drawer

Cleaned out the junk drawer yesterday, after spouse complained he could never find a pair of scissors. It turns out the junk drawer has eaten all the scissors, except for a blunt-tipped pair meant for children in kindergarten. They don't really cut anything.

Drawer also revealed a dozen tubes of Chapstick, including three of the gawdawful cherry-flavored variety.

There was also a tube of Terra Tints, which I'm keeping solely for the memory. Last year we were at New Seasons (like Wild Oats or Whole Foods, only better/cheaper, respectively), when my husband threw a tube of what he thought was Chapstick onto the conveyor belt.

When we left the store, he wanted to check out a nearby tavern, so he left kid and me loading groceries into the car. As he walked up to the place, he smeared the Chapstick generously over his lips. They still felt dry, so he smeared more and more. Then he looked in the window of The Liepzig Tavern. A couple on the other side started back, staring at him. He walked in the door and surveyed the place. People fell silent, some staring at him covertly, others making a point of not meeting his eyes. He wondered if it was just because it was a neighborhood bar, not used to seeing strangers.

When he came back to the car, we stared at him too. His lips and the skin an inch around his lips was brownish red. He looked like a demented, alcoholic clown. Perhaps with some gender-identity issues thrown into mix. Terra Tints is basically a lipstick. Spouse felt it unfair that they sold it among the Chapstick-like items.

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