aprilhenry (aprilhenry) wrote,

It seemed like a good idea at the time

Okay, anyone remember this scene from The Exorcist:

REGAN/DEMON: What's that?

KARRAS: Holy water.

REGAN/DEMON: You keep it away.

Karras uncaps the vial and sprinkles its contents over Regan. Instantly, Regan writhes in pain and terror.

REGAN/DEMON: Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh! It burns! Ohhhh! It burns!

Regan's head falls back onto the pillow as she rolls her head from side to side shouting out indistinct gibberish.

Only for Holy Water, substitute Nair for Faces. And for REGAN/DEMON, substitue APRIL/IDIOT.

Lately, in certain bright lights, I had thought my upper lip had looked a little dark. So in the great American tradition of fixing stuff, I decided I had better fix it.

The Nair package says you should test a spot and wait 24 hours. Who has time for that? So I slathered on some of the pink goo. You were to leave it on for 5-10 minutes. After two minutes, it began to burn. But it was no where near five minutes, which was the shortest time the package talked about.

At five minutes exactly, I took it off.

You know that expression "bee-stung lips"? Well, I have that, only a little farther north. Plus it's red. Definitely red. And swollen. Like a rash 'stache.

Now I feel like Kramer: "Look away, I'm hideous!"

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