aprilhenry (aprilhenry) wrote,

One of these things doesn't belong here

Okay, I'm supposed to be writing, but it's tough sledding. I should be figuring out how to aerolize Fentanyl, but instead I'm thinking about:

- I almost ran over a squirrel. In my own driveway! They should at least wait to try to commit suicide until they are on the street.

- Speaking of squirrels, I think they disprove evolution. Because the squirrels in Portland do this: leap, leap, leap, stop and look around, leap, leap, leap. Etc. Only leap, leap, leap isn't enough to take them all the way across the street. So they frequently get hit. Now if evolution really worked, shouldn't the squirrels who have learned not to stop in the street be passing on their good genes, while the stupid squirrels die before they can have babies?

- I was just at the grocery store. My checker was named "Skip." He was approximately 112 years old. He couldn't work the scanner, resulting in multiple passes. He hit subtotal after every item. The receipt printer jammed up - that was confusing! When the customer ahead of me wanted the nickel for bringing in his own bag, Skip couldn't figure out how how to open the register, so he just reached in his own pocket and gave him a dime. [Full disclosure: no wonder Skip was the only checker with no line.]

- If the stock market keeps tanking, in about 70 years I will be Skip, only I won't be able to work the hologram reader. Or whatever it will be by then.

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Tags: skip, squirrels
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