aprilhenry (aprilhenry) wrote,
aprilhenry
aprilhenry

What is it with freaking collectible monkeys?!??


I was blind before, but now I see.

And what I see is ads for collectible monkeys in every women's magazine that might appeal to a certain older demographic (Ladies Home Journal, Women's Day, Good Housekeeping. More isn't on the list, presumably because the women who read that have more taste and or sense.)

Here's the latest: "Fall in love with Little Umi, a collectible orangutan baby doll you have to see to believe [I believe all right, please don't force me to look], and the first-ever So Truly Real® [I wonder how many phrases they had to run through before they found one they could register?] baby monkey doll! Beautifully crafted, her head and limbs are of collector-quality silicone [you wouldn't want that crappy, off-the-shelf everyday silicone, would you?] that recreate every realistic detail of her face, hands and feet. Hand-rooted wispy red hair [What poor person in a third world country does that?] covers her from head to toe. Offer Little Umi her FREE pacifier [OMG! A free pacificer! That must be worth millions!!] and watch as she gazes up at you with gentle, trusting eyes. [This is so creepy! Are there really people who cuddle their collector-quality silicone monkey dolls?]

The best part? Little Umi costs $139, or 5 payments of $28. Oh, and there's the little matter of shipping and handling. But let's not talk about that now. Let's just fall in love and say "Aw!!" Oh, and get out your credit card.



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