aprilhenry (aprilhenry) wrote,

The day my clothes attacked me

Some days I channel my inner I Love Lucy. On Saturday I came home from my run with just enough time to take a quick shower and join friends for brunch.

I was wearing a blue Nike jacket that long ago lost its zipper pull. Using my thumbnail, I'm able to push it up and down.

But when I came home, it refused to budge. I tried different angles. No dice. Then I realized that I could still push it up. I did, thinking it was a matter of a snag or a bent tooth and that once I had got it moving again, I could zip it down.


Eventually I realized that I could only zip the zipper up, not down. By this point, the zipper was all the way up. After a lot of struggle, I was able to pull the jacket off over my head, scraping my ears in the process. And by now I was late.

You would think my clothing troubles were over.

You would be wrong.

Because underneath the jacket I was wearing a black Asics running tank. The outside is black stretchy fabric that goes down to my waist. The inside layer is like a white bra. I managed to pull just the black part inside out so that it covered my head and arms. But the white bra layer stayed glued to my skin. So the top of my body was trapped in a tube, while I blindly clawed at my back, trying to gain some purchase on the bra part.

Three long minutes later, I succeeded.

I was late for brunch.

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