Step 2: Obsessively check Google Alerts, BN.com, and Amazon.com for reviews.
Step 3: Begin to think that no one will review it. That seems to be happening more and more. Try to decide if you would rather be hated or ignored.
Step 4: Find email in your inbox titled "Review from Kirkus."
Step 5: Feel wave of nausea.
Step 6: Open email. Let eyes skitter over text, alighting on nothing. Then look for bad things.
Step 7: Decide it's not so bad - in fact, it's pretty good. Esp. considering it's from Kirkus, which can be kind of a cranky-pants.
Step 8: Share:
Sixteen-year-old Ellie is caught between two evils in this eco-terrorism thriller. When Ellie’s aging hippie parents are arrested for drug dealing, the FBI offers a deal: If Ellie will infiltrate the environmental activist group Mother Earth Defenders, her parents will stay out of jail. Ellie can’t bear to betray a group whose goals are so laudable—after all, who doesn’t want to protect old-growth forests and the habitat of the endangered lynx?—but she’ll do anything to keep her frail, innocent pothead dad out of prison. MED’s members aren’t so morally pure as Ellie would hope, however. Sure, gorgeous, blond-ringleted Coyote is a good guy, but creepy-looking Hawk advocates violence. Early attempts at exploring the moral complexities of extreme environmental activism get left by the wayside as Ellie’s tale concentrates on romance and big explosions, but the thrills and action will keep readers interested as she navigates her way between terrorists and self-centered Feds. (Thriller. 12-14)
Step 9: Begin to obsess about other reviews.
Step 10: Repeat.