aprilhenry (aprilhenry) wrote,

The power of the double asterisk

I remember when Ensure used to be for cancer patients who were struggling with weight loss. Now it's marketed as if it's more healthy than fruits and vegetables.

And Metamucil used to be for constipated folks. Not any more.

Last night I'm reading a woman's magazine, and I see this add showing a woman in a sleeveless orange mini jumping into the air. Her thighs are so slender that they do not appear to actually meet, even up under the dress.

And the copy says:
4 ways to vitality
Helps lower cholesterol*
Promotes overall well-being**
Good source of natural fiber
Promotes natural cleansing process**

And on the bottom of the page in tiny, light-colored type it says:
* As part of a diet low in saturated fat and cholesterol
** These statements have not been evaluated by the Food And Drug Administration

Okay, now leaving aside the fact that "natural cleaning process" must refer to pooping, I love how they can say things in their ad and not back them up at all.

So I figure I should do that.
Torched promotes overall well-being, plus it may lead to outbursts of spontaneous delight.** And reading Face of Betrayal (A Triple Threat Novel) could make you thinner and more attractive.**

**Hey, anything is possible.

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