Publishers Lunch pulled together their favorites:
"Please be advised of my request that you consider reviewing a page-turning novel that I have recently completed."
"I'M TYPING MY QUERY IN ALL CAPS SO YOU WILL BE SURE TO NOTICE IT."
"Have you ever wondered what it's like to be pulled up a waterfall or to be flushed down a toilet?"
"This is my first attempt at writing a fictional novel."
"...this, the first book in a seven-book series..."
"I've been working on this novel for twenty five years."
"This book is The Notebook meets The Lord of the Rings."
"It's a unique combination of memoir and novel."
"My book is the first in an imagined autobiography of my tragedy."
"This is groundbreaking work that will change the way we view everything!"
"My book is differentiated from Twilight because the vampires have wings, and are half-breed angels."
"I've been rejected by three other publishers who said my work w as interesting."
"I've queried more than 50 agents and have gotten nowhere and now I'm querying you."
"I don't think you're the right agent for me, but could you pass my query along to some of your colleagues?"
"I hope you don't mind that I found your personal email address..." '
"I know you don't represent children's literature, but I hope you'll make an exception in my case."