aprilhenry (aprilhenry) wrote,

The Bulwer-Lytton way to describe a kiss

Edward George Bulwer-Lytton is the guy who wrote, "It was a dark and stormy night" (which Snoopy like so much) and every year there in a contest to mimic his purple prose.

The winner of the 2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is Molly Ringle of Seattle, Washington. Here's her winning entry:

"For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil."

Here are two other winners:

Winner: Children’s Literature

“Please Mr. Fox, don’t take your magic back to the forest, it is needed here in Twigsville!” pleaded little Isabel, but Mr. Fox was unconcerned as he smugly loped back into the woods without answering a word knowing well that his magic was only going to be used to make sure his forest would be annexed into the neighboring community of Leaftown where the property values were much higher.
- Pete Watkins, Broken Arrow, OK

Winner: Detective
She walked into my office wearing a body that would make a man write bad checks, but in this paperless age you would first have to obtain her ABA Routing Transit Number and Account Number and then disable your own Overdraft Protection in order to do so.
- Steve Lynch, San Marcos, CA

See all the winners here and learn more about the contest.

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