- Telling, not showing.
- Mentioning people by name if they don’t show up more than once or twice.
- What ifs - even if it's a person doing something dangerous who is worried what the outcome will be.
- Lengthy descriptions.
- Speeches. Even if the people are idealogues.
- Restating an idea, ie, “What you saw was what you got. What he said was what he meant.” He struck the second line.
- Lengthy prologues.
I think he's right 95 percent of the time. It certainly results in a shorter, tighter book. Which is what you need in a thriller.
What I like about my editor is that he writes down the reasons for all his green pencil, such as "too talky" or "stay in the moment."