aprilhenry (aprilhenry) wrote,
aprilhenry
aprilhenry

Please don't write this at home

Agent Miss Snark has been running The Crapometer where she critiques query letters. Reading them makes me feel sorry for agents. First of all, a lot of people sent in a first page, not a query letter, so they can't follow directions. Second, a lot of what they sent is hard to follow, and what you can follow is bad.

Here's one that took the cake. While it's fine to say that you've written, for example, a humorous novel, I'm a big believer you should never tell an agent how to feel about your book, ie, "This book will make you howl with laughter." But this person ended their query with "An articulate, clear voiced, well cast, open minded, multi-tiered novel that is stark and believable and yet hauntingly surreal; vividly and yet sublimely sexual; brutally violent and yet tender and empathic; highly technical and yet readable and ethereal; informative and yet blatantly opinionated; alert and funny; satisfying on many levels, to the end… and beyond."

It's so over the top it almost sounds like a joke.



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