“I stood by blowing on my hands and stomping my feet to keep warm when suddenly he turned to me, eyed me up and down, and proclaimed, "We need to tease her hair. I want glitter. Lots of glitter, and the clothes will have to go."
"You want me to be naked?" I spluttered.
"Do we have some fabric?" he went on, ignoring my question and my obvious distress. "I see swaths of tulle billowing out behind her and hanging in the tree branches like a morning mist."
"You want me to be naked?" I repeated.
Before I could do or say anything else, I was ushered back into the van where I was stripped down to my underwear and sprayed in glitter.
When I re-emerged, my chattering entourage became deathly silent. Jaws dropped open and I heard a few gasps as I crunched barefoot through the snow, wrapped in yards of sparkling gauze, with my butt hanging out, and wondering to myself, Did John Irving ever have to do this?
Nathan positioned me and began snapping away with his camera.
"You're a wood nymph!" he cried. "Yes, you're a wood nymph! You're an ethereal spirit. You're an incarnation of the sky. You're real yet you're not real at all."
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